


Just Drawn That Way

by ruff_ethereal



Category: Little Witch Academia, RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe, Background Relationships, Basically Wreck-It-Ralph with Manga, Existential Angst, Existential Crisis, F/F, Gen, Parody, Violence, and lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-08-19 22:51:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16543835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruff_ethereal/pseuds/ruff_ethereal
Summary: It was a weekly ritual of theirs, show up at the end of each Monday, complain about their existences, before sympathizing, then planning out how they were going to survive what next week would bring.In short: it was a support group—as much as manga characters could be said to have one, at any rate.They never thought it would ever do much harm, until it threatened to erase them from existence





	1. Chapter 1

Weiss was the last one to arrive, quietly walking in a whole ten minutes after everyone else had already settled into their seats. She wasn’t drawn in her school uniform, or any of her “casual” outfits, instead wearing a buttoned up white-shirt and a sarong around her waist, her hair slightly damp and her iconic ponytail tied up into a tight bun.

Diana sniffed the air and flicked her serpentine tongue out for good measure, smelled and tasted salt water, burnt charcoal, and coconuts. “Beach special?” she asked.

“Yes.” Weiss replied as she headed to the middle of their three-person couch, her usual spot. Ruby and Akko scooted over or pulled up their legs to make room, she thanked them before she sat down with her knees tightly pressed together, her hands clasped in her lap, her posture absolutely perfect and straight.

Akko and Ruby noticed and frowned, but said nothing.

Diana rose up from her beanbag, her snake-half uncoiling a bit beneath her. “Is everyone ready to start the meeting?” she asked.

“Yes,” everyone replied, with varying levels of enthusiasm.

“Then would anyone like to begin our session?” Diana asked, glancing at the others. “Weiss, perhaps?”

“No, no,” she said, shaking her head, slowing down as she noticed drops of sea water dripping down her hair. “You girls go first.”

“Are you certain?” Diana asked.

“Yes.” Weiss replied, carefully catching the water in her hands, before wiping them off on her sarong.

“Then would anyone else like to go first, or shall we just follow our established order?” Diana asked.

“I’m cool with that the usual,” Ruby said, then Akko said, “Yeah, that sounds fine.”

Diana nodded. “Then Ruby, please start us off,” she said, gesturing to her.

Ruby nodded back, then said, “I thought we were going to have a quiet rearlines chapter this week, or maybe some more political intrigue over at Command, but it turns out that _Anoke_ wanted to introduce a new type of Umbra to the story. They’re called Stalkers, and their shtick is that they’re infiltration and ambush experts; apparently she thought the best way to illustrate that was to have one of them break into HQ—specifically, the R&D labs.”

Realization hit the others quickly, Akko winced. “Wow, that must have _really_ sucked.”

“It _really_ did ,” Ruby said, frowning . “ _Anoke_ went full on horror mode with the scene, too.”

“What happened?” Weiss asked.

“Oh, the usual setup: I was working late at night, heard weird bumps in the vents and the corners, went to investigate it for a couple of panels before the Big Scary Thing came out at me in a full-page spread, and I spent the rest of the chapter running and fighting it off.” Ruby explained. She sighed. “Honestly, I’m _so_ glad _Anoke_ wrote me as a _weapons_ engineer, and I had usable prototypes everywhere and ammo everywhere, but still, she made that thing _way_ too reckless and durable for something that supposedly HAD to use stealth, or be killed almost immediately!

“It chased me through the entirety of the lab, managed to pin me down after I tripped on all the spent shells; it was even about to _eat me_ , before _someone_ from security finally thought to investigate why the cameras and audio feeds went down all of a sudden, and why they could _still_ hear the gunshots and the screaming from all the way up there!

“They killed it right on time to save me, but not nearly soon enough, if you ask me...” Ruby grumbled, before she heaved a heavy sigh. “Alright, rant’s over. Akko?”

“We had another big _Teatro_ with a rival troupe ,” Akko started . “ Same plot as always: brand new characters, this time from within Luna Nova—I think they were one of the more detailed background characters in an audience shot two chapters ago, you know _Director-sama_ likes to do that. Anyway, we challenged them, they talked about how bad we’re going to lose because we suck so much, but _also_ go through _so much effort_ to cheat to ensure their win, then we somehow beat them anyway, and this time they chose to flip the table than eat their humble pie, and Finnelan expelled them.

“But this week it was just so--” she raised her trembling hands in front of her _“--so stupid!_ I mean, I get it: there’s only so many serious, dark, realistic motivations you can give rivals before you have to start making most of them orphans from _Teatri Finali_ , but this one was just, ‘ Gasp! Somebody said something _vaguely_ insulting about me and it wasn’t even direct ly to my face , so I blow up at them in public! I mean, we could talk things through like _normal_ people and ask what they meant, but heck, let’s just skip all that and go straight to trying to mock-murder each other on stage so we can decide who’s telling the ‘truth!’

“I mean—COME ON!” Akko cried, throwing her hands up. “We’re supposed to be training to be the professionals that _literally_ decide how wars are won, and here we are getting this angry over a simple misunderstanding?! _Director-sama_ is setting a _really_ bad example to our audience! I mean, real life actresses aren’t this petty and prone to overreacting, are they?

“I mean, _are they…?”_ she asked, her voice cracking.

“I really don’t know, Akko,” Weiss said. “The Show Time arc had all of protagonists us as the actors, no industry professionals to speak of except for production and agents. Even then, I doubt it would have been a realistic portrayal, considering, you know.”

“The recording of our drama CD also went incredibly smoothly,” Diana added. “Whether that was an exception or not, I can’t tell as we only ever did produce the one so far, not to mention the third party involved for most of it.”

“Maybe if one of us gets an anime adaptation one of these days, we might be able to find out during the director’s commentary!” Ruby said.

Akko sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Maybe… okay, I’m done. Diana?”

“It’s a very similar problem as yours, actually,” Diana hummed. “I swear, no matter how much I despise the role I was written for, I would be _so pleased_ if the Mistress M would extend any of that seemingly infinite creativity of hers into the ways she reminds the audience I’m the ‘Token Evil Teammate’ of the group,” she said, making air quotes.

“She’s already bluntly stated there’s limitless possibility in such a lawless, wild, and fantastic land as the Horizon!

“But no, it’s always: ‘Oh, guess who subtly poisoned or otherwise killed the morally ambiguous ally side character who was just shy of proudly advertising that they were going to betray us?’ or ‘Oh, guess who refuses to help the latest band of stranded refugees, or the poor, penniless villagers out in the middle of nowhere?’ or ‘Oh, guess who immediately suggests murder as the ultimate solution, since it’s what we end up doing nine times out of ten, anyhow?’

“And the answer is always, ‘Diana.’”

“It used to be shocking, _fascinating_ , even, in the early stages of the series, but now it’s all just so boring and trite. If an _omake_ is to be believed, it seems there’s a ‘meme’ about it involving law enforcement just pinning the blame on me immediately, and no judge willing to contest the charges—and if she went out of her way to acknowledge it in publication like that, you can be certain she found it entertaining.

She sighed again. “I will likely never get a redemption arc, but I would at least prefer it if my role was to be come much less routine and utterly predictable. And with that, I am satisfied. Weiss?”

Weiss looked sheepishly at her lap, and started twiddling her fingers. “So, you all know what a beach special means in my genre, right…?”

“Sandcastle building? Beach volleyball? Barbecue at the boardwalk?” Ruby offered.

“Ooh, ooh: watermelon smashing! _Swimming!_ Songs and stories around a bonfire at night where you stay up super late and sleep on the beach!” Akko cried.

“Skimpy, highly inappropriate outfits for characters explicitly of high school age; copious amounts of even more inappropriate behaviour such as willing or unwilling indecent exposure; outright sexual assault treated with the least amount of seriousness possible...?” Diana said.

“Correct, correct, and correct,” Weiss said, nodding at each of them in turn. “Look… I could _handle_ Jaune accidentally barging into the ladies dressing room as usual, among _other_ stupid antics of his. I could _handle_ the frankly _insane_ amounts of outdoors, mid-day activities _Hentai-sama_ thought someone of my complexion and constitution could _happily_ oblige to for 12 or so hours, _especially_ with most of our drinking water ending up spilled in the service of an _ecchi_ scene. I could _handle_ faking being attracted to Jaune in swimming trunks, internally ‘gush’ about how ‘nice’ he looks with his hair wet, ‘admire’ his muscles shining with sweat, and just generally find single thing he does charming, no matter how asinine and/or immature.”

She clenched her fists tightly. “But I could not… I can’t… I’m...” she sniffed, tears welling in her eyes.

Ruby and Akko both reached out and patted her on the shoulder and back as Weiss began to sob, trembling with each violent, pained heave.

“I’m **gay** ...” Weiss whispered, broken. “I’m so, so, _so fucking_ **gay** , and I don’t know how much longer I can _pretend_ to be even _remotely_ attracted to that stupid, bumbling, personality-devoid blonde blank-slate when I have not one, but _two_ pretty girls in my vicinity at all times, plus Ms. Goodwitch and all the side-girls of the week!”

She sucked in a breath, looked up at Diana with red-streaked, teary eyes, her cheeks wet and glistening. “Did you know, I had to put sunscreen on Pyrrha’s back…? Do you know, how much _detail_ _Hentai-sama_ drew her with ? And do you know, how much willpower it took, for me to _convincingly_ look like I was pretending it was actually me in Velvet’s place, make it seem like I wanted to be with Jaune, keep from losing myself in the _objectively superior choice_ , who was _literally_ right in the palms of my hands…?”

Weiss broke into another round of tears, Akko hugged her and cradled her face to her chest, while Ruby continued rubbing her back. Diana maneuvered her snake-half to their mini-fridge in the corner, pulled out a bottle of water, then flung it to Ruby’s waiting hand.

“I’m sorry...” Weiss whimpered some time later, her voice hoarse, her eyes stinging from the tears still flowing, her water spilling as her hand couldn’t stop trembling. “I’m so, _so_ **sorry** , _this is all I have_ , compared to all of your problems...”

“It wasn’t your fault you were created for a harem comedy, Weiss,” Diana said, giving Weiss a warm, sympathetic look—or as much as a half-snake demon could, at least.

Weiss continued to cry until she ran out of tears and drained most of her water, now clutching it so tightly in her hand the plastic was crumpling around her fingers. “I hate this...” she muttered.

“We do too...” Ruby said.

“I don’t know how I’m going to last much longer…” Weiss whispered. “It was only because I had the dubious honour of being Jaune’s roommate when it came time to assign the inevitably-fewer-cabins-than-we-thought that I lasted till morning… I wouldn’t have lasted _five minutes_ if I was in that same, tiny, cramped room with Pyrrha, Velvet, and Ms. Goodwitch, in their nightwear … _if they even_ _wore any clothes to sleep!_ _”_ she whimpered.

“Thank **fuck** it was just a one-chapter deal, I couldn’t have survived another in-story _day_ in that sunny, sandy hell… and now, I guess it’s time for all of us to figure how we’re going to survive next week.”

“Indeed,” Diana said as she pulled off the curtain for their whiteboard.

Akko killed the lights, Ruby found the remote for it and tossed it to Diana, Weiss tossed her crushed water bottle into the trash before they all prepared for this week’s news update.

“As you are all aware, Papuru Fiction is reaching its first anniversary in six weeks,” Diana started, pulling out and extending her pointer. “Without a doubt, it will be a grand, elaborate affair, what with our relatively recent explosion in audience numbers, and of course, our new additions to the roster since the magazine’s creation,” she said, looking at Ruby and Akko both.

“Without a doubt, our respective _mangakas_ will be pulling out all the stops in the near future, so expect dramatic developments in the plot and world-changing arcs, explosive and catastrophic finales, and even new main characters being introduced to our respective casts, Weiss’ series especially.

“Then there is the separate matter of what Mrs. Publisher and the Editors will think they will have to do alongside that; we will likely be working overtime with special editions, extra lengthy chapters, and of course, promotional material and new merchandise.”

Akko groaned. “I smell being framed and almost expelled again…!”

“I sense hundreds of thousands of extras dying, and a city being wiped off the map,” Ruby continued.

“And I’m _certain_ the _ecchi_ is going to hit critical mass...” Weiss muttered, looking down at herself.

“Indeed,” Diana said, nodding gravely as she turned off the projector, exchanged the remote for a whiteboard marker. “Now, shall we get to predictions and planning, ladies?”

With no objections, they got right to it; they ultimately managed to predict quite a lot of things, except for the “almost being erased from existence” part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t hate Jaune. I don’t have anything against anyone turning him into the aforementioned wish-fulfillment harem protagonist. I hate that, independent of him being Jaune, they’re EVERYWHERE.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has morphed into existential angst/horror and lesbians. Be warned.

SLAM!

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” Cinder yelled, her chair screeching across the floor as she shot up.

Akko winced, as did some of the other protagonists in the meeting room. At the head of the table, Papuru-chan was unfazed, still smiling as she always did. “Now, now, Cinder-kun, you’re supposed to be an elite soldier, aren’t you? You’re not supposed to get this emotional over orders!”

“I can when the orders are a _joke!”_ Cinder shouted back. “This _is_ a joke, right?! Just another pitch for an advertisement, or another damned 4-koma?! Because you can’t seriously be saying that I’m going to have to spend an entire _month_ , doing double-shifts with _him!”_ she cried, thrusting her finger at Jaune.

Jaune flinched, before he shrank into his seat even more than he already had.

“It’s official,” Papuru-chan said calmly. “We have the new contracts they signed specifically for the anniversary, actually, would you like to see them...?”

Cinder’s eyes widened. “She _agreed_ to do this?!”

“ _Hai-hai...!”_ Papuru-chan beamed. “Don’t worry though, Queen Dragon-sama is being compensated generously for her extra time and effort, and Publisher-tono believes that this event will help bring in even _more_ readers from all the buzz we’ve been getting!”

Cinder gritted her teeth, a tendril of black smoke leaking out from her mouth. “So this all about the money...”

“It’s _always_ about the money,” Amanda said as she lounged on her seat, her boots resting on the table. “Geeze, I know you’ve only been pro-published for a few months, but did you _seriously_ never realize this before now?”

Cinder heaved a heavy sigh, before she pulled her chair back, sat down with her arms crossed and an aura like the heat radiating from a giant, smouldering wreck. How the other protagonists sitting right next to her managed to keep their cool, Akko didn’t know.

“Okay!” Papuru-chan said as she picked up her projector remote again. “Now that that’s been resolved, here’s the rest of the pair-ups for our first anniversary’s _Grand Crossover_ _ **Extravaganza**_ **…!”**

The rest of the meeting went on without incident, reactions to the other odd or questionable duos far less violent than that of Cinder’s, before Papuru-chan went into more general matters like reviews, sales numbers, and the other upcoming events outside of their control such as conventions.

“… And that’s it!” Papuru-chan said, clapping her hands and turning the lights back on. “You’re all dismissed, everyone!”

The protagonists all stood up, bowed and said the usual formalities, before shuffling out the conference room, heading down the stairs or the elevators leading back to their respective series’ domains.

“ _You._ Jaune.”

… Except for Jaune, who found himself freezing as Cinder put a hand on his shoulder.

Akko watched uneasily as he slowly, _very_ carefully turned around, just barely maintaining the look of calm on his face. “Y-Yes, Maj. Fall...?” he asked.

“You and I are going to have a _long_ talk about this crossover business… _privately.”_

Jaune gulped, and mechanically nodded his head. “S-Sure, anything you say, Major,” he muttered, before Cinder quickly marched him off into a smaller meeting room a little ways away.

Akko watched them go, the internal conflict clear on her face.

Amanda shook her head as she stepped up beside her. “Don’t. Seriously, just **don’t,”** she said quietly and firmly. “There’s nothing good that ever comes out of interfering her when she’s in a mood like this.”

_Click._

The door shut behind Jaune and Cinder in the meeting room, a dark miasma like black smoke and fading embers began to emanate from beneath the door.

Akko instinctively stepped away from it and into Amanda, she calmly put her hands on her arms. “See?” Amanda said. “Just turn around, and walk away,” she said, coaxing Akko in the other direction.

“But it doesn’t feel right to leave to just leave him like this!” Akko cried, resisting. “Shouldn’t we be helping him? Protagonist to protagonist?”

“’Look out for yourself before others,’ it’s the way of the Horizon as much as it is everywhere else,” Amanda replied, shaking her head as she let go Akko. “Besides, he’s a Romantic Comedy Harem Protagonist—he’s **made** for surviving anything a woman can throw at him. If they aren’t throwing _him_ , anyway,” she added with a chuckle.

Akko sighed heavily. “I guess you’re right…”

“Because I _am,_ 9 times out of 10,” Amanda said, grinning, before she patted Akko on the side, and headed to the elevator. “Welp, see you, Akko, gotta go back to the studio to celebrate the rest of that ‘Welcome Back’ party with the Niva’li, go do the fun stuff Boss-lady _can’t_ show on-panel anymore,” she said, chuckling.

“Wait, Amanda!” Akko cried, stepping towards her.

“Yeah?” Amanda asked, looking over her shoulder as she pressed the call button.

“Do you want to go get our casts together and discuss the crossover sometime?” Akko said.

“What for?” Amanda asked, confused.

“Well, you know, some of them might have problems with it like Cinder did, and maybe we could help them work through it?” Akko replied.

“And…?” Amanda asked.

“… That was it.” Akko replied.

Amanda sighed, and shook her head. “Look, Akko: whether or not any of us _like_ this latest cash-grab gimmick isn’t important, whatever the creators want us to do, we’ll do it; that’s the reason they gave us life, and that’s the only reason we’ll keep on having it.”

 _Ding._ The elevator arrived.

“It was like that back when we were still a webcomic, it’ll be like that for as long as Boss-lady feels like we’re worth her time and talent,” Amanda said as she stepped in. “And honestly, I don’t know why _anyone_ would be against _anything_ that helps keep them drawing you for another day.

“Last chance to come with, by the way!” she said as she held the doors open. “I promised those blue-skinned bikini babes I’d be back within 10 minutes of that meeting ending, and you bet your ass they’re counting the seconds.”

Akko sighed, and said, “I’m good, you enjoy your party.”

“Thanks, feel free to come by if you change your mind,” Amanda said, grinning as the doors closed.

Akko stood there for a few moments, before she sighed and turned away, quietly debated what to do next.

_Click._

She jumped as the black miasma from earlier spilled out from the now open door, filling the hallway like a fog machine from hell. Cinder strode out in the middle of it all, an ominously cool, calm expression on her face, Akko stepped back even further and well out of Cinder’s way as she headed down the stairs.

Moments later, Jaune’s trembling hand came out from the blackness, his knuckles growing white as he gripped the frame and tried to pull himself out on shaky, unsteady legs. Akko immediately rushed over to help him, slung his arm over her shoulders as she carried him out of there, to a row of chairs beyond the unnerving mist.

“Thanks...” Jaune mumbled as she lowered him on one of the seats.

“ _Iie,”_ Akko said as she sat behind him. “Mind if I ask what happened back there?”

“Graphic stuff _way_ beyond our 15+ rating...” Jaune said as he pulled himself up to a more comfortable position, the strength slowly returning to his limbs.

“Like... _?”_ Akko asked.

“You sure want to ask...?” Jaune said. “It gets messed up.”

“I’ve been to some of Amanda’s arc-end parties, trust me, I _know_ messed up.”

“Fair.” Jaune said. He sucked in a breath, and after a moment’s hesitation, he said, “Cinder said if my hands or any other part of me so much as grazes her butt, her boobs, or anywhere else important, accidental or not, she’s going to shoot my dick off with a laser.”

“Ah.”

“Is it--” Jaune stopped and hesitated, looked at Akko; when she nodded, he continued, “Is it weird to be worried about losing my dick if I never really ever get to _use it,_ and probably never will?”

Akko thought about it. “Hrrmm, I can’t speak with 100% confidence as I don’t have a penis myself, but I have _struck_ other actors and been struck in the crotch, and I’d say worrying about getting your penis shot off with a laser is legit, ‘cause it sounds like it’ll really, really, _really_ hurt.”

“Huh, guess so,” Jaune muttered. “Guess I didn’t really consider that part.”

Akko nodded. “Hey, if you don’t mind, I’ve been meaning to ask: does it ever start hurting less over time, all the abuse you get?”

“No, no it really doesn’t,” Jaune said, shaking his head. “I guess that’s just one more thing that makes me ‘The Unluckiest Lucky Man in the World’…”

Akko reached out and patted him on the shoulder.

Jaune smiled. “Thanks.”

“ _Iie,_ anytime,” Akko said, smiling back.

Editor’s assistants soon came to fetch Jaune, talking about how he was due for a round of concept art, chiding him for not answering his company phone. “Oh, sorry!” he said, pulling it out of his pocket as he was ushered away, “I think I forgot to take it out of silent mode when I left the meeting!”

Realization hit Akko as she pulled out her own phone, opened it and noticed a text from Diana, sent several minutes ago:

“ _Emergency meeting. NOW.”_

“ _OMW ASA_ _P_ _”_ Akko quickly replied, before she dashed to the stairs.

* * *

She was sweating and out of breath by the time she arrived at the meeting room. Diana the only other character there, her snake-half coiled so tightly around her it was like she was about to spring into an attack, her claws clutching the papers in her hands so tightly her nails had already ripped holes straight through each page.

“I’m here,” Akko said breathlessly, weakly rapping her knuckles on the door.

“Hello, Akko,” Diana said tersely, the paper crumpling even further in her grip. _“Forgive me,_ if I don’t fetch the refreshments like I usually do, I am working through some rather volatile, _intense_ emotions right now.”

“No problem,” Akko wheezed as she walked over to the mini-fridge, pulled out a bottle of water, and settled herself on the couch. After a handful of swigs, she looked around, and asked, “Ruby and Weiss aren’t coming?”

“No, they and the rest of their cast members have been summoned by Queen Dragon for concept art,” Diana replied. “Ruby says she’s simply _relishing_ the opportunity to design more of those Lumen suits, so I suppose that makes at least _one_ person happy about this whole business...” she hissed.

Akko nodded sympathetically, before she pulled her handkerchief out of her pocket and wiped herself down. Eventually, the two of them both cooled down, Akko’s breathing returning to normal, Diana relaxing her grip on the papers and the rest of her body, her tail spilling out around her as she slumped in her seat.

Akko sighed as she took one last sip of her water, stuffed her handkerchief back into her pocket. “Okay, I’m good… I’m guessing you want to talk about this…?” she said as she screwed the cap back on.

“Yes,” Diana said, before listlessly holding up the crumpled, punctured memo. “I can guarantee you now, this ‘Crossover Extravaganza’ will NOT fare well for you...” she muttered.

“ _I know that.”_ Akko replied. “Director-sama isn’t exactly shy about taking his own advice on the importance of conflict!”

“It’s not Mr. Oreon I’m worried about, it’s the Mistress M.” Diana mumbled. “I…” she sighed and looked down “… had thought it would never to come to this, as we’ve only only ever really worked together for the sake of promotions, merchandise, and silly, lighthearted 4-panels. But now that our creators are collaborating and sharing our casts, I can all but guarantee you that the Mistress M has only the absolute _worst_ in store for you, suffering on a level you hadn’t thought possible, in ways you could have never expected.”

She looked up, sorrow in her reptilian eyes as she said, “And I am certain I will be the means by which she delivers it to you.

“I wish for you to know, Akko, that I am deeply, terribly sorry for anything and everything that I will be scripted to do upon you and your fellow cast members, and that I will not blame nor hold against you or anyone else any drastic changes in your opinion of me, how you speak to me, and how you act around me, if you even choose to interact with me on a voluntary basis.”

Akko looked at her in confusion. “What are you even apologizing for, Diana? It’s not going to be your fault, it’s the scripts’!”

“And those scripts will be written in part or in whole by the Mistress M.” Diana said flatly.

Akko grew concerned, and asked, “Is it really going to be that bad…?”

“Worse, even,” Diana replied. “Her creativity can be just as cruel and gruesome as it is wondrous and beautiful. Be quite thankful that here, she has the regulating forces of her editor, the threat of losing her primary income, and age and censorship laws. But even still, things will never be the same between us after this event is over, I guarantee it.”

“Why do you sound so sure of everything…?” Akko said, frowning.

“Because it’s happened before, and nothing is giving me any indication that this time will be any different,” Diana said ruefully.

Akko stewed for a few moments in her seat, before she suddenly got up, and strode over to Diana with her “Determination Face” on.

“Akko, what are you doing…?” Diana asked.

“Take my hand, Diana!” Akko cried as she thrust it towards her.

Diana looked at her with curiosity and concern, before she slowly, carefully obeyed, wrapping her claws around the back of Akko’s hand.

“Let the land, the sea, and the stars bear witness!” Akko cried in her “theatrical” voice, before she knelt before Diana, hand on her chest, gazing into her eyes as she said, “I, Kagari Atsuko, do swear to you, Diana Cavendish, that our friendship will stay strong and survive the Papuru Fiction Grand Crossover Extravaganza! This I swear, on my honour as the Guardian of the Fallen Star!”

Diana blinked, her lips tugging into a small smile, before she shook her head. “You know that the _Promessa_ only works within your series...”

“I know,” Akko said, smiling as she went back to her normal voice. “But magically binding oaths or no, I’m still promising I am going to do everything I can, _just for you~_ _”_

Diana’s cold-blooded, demonic nature rendered her incapable of things like blushing, but it was quite obvious that Akko’s actions had had an effect on her…

… Except to Akko herself, who calmly let go of Diana’s hand, and went back to her seat. “So, got anything more to get out of your chest?” she asked as she plopped down on the couch.

Diana’s features fell. She opened her mouth, then closed it, quietly suppressing the emotions stirring within her, before she said, “No, I’m sure that’s all I have, and any other grievances can be aired after yours. Do you have any?”

“Well, it’s not really a ‘grievance’ so much as a question that’s bugging me...” Akko murmured.

“Go ahead, Akko,” Diana said, sitting up and laying her hands on her lap. “I’m listening.”

“Do you think it’s weird to care about losing a body part off-panel, when it’ll just come back the next time we’re on the job?” Akko asked.

“It depends,” Diana replied. “Which body part is it? If it’s something as vital as your hand or an entire leg, it’ll surely affect your qualify of life.”

“But what if you never really ever get to _use it_ , on-panel or off?” Akko asked. “Like, would it matter if someone shot your penis off, if you never have and probably never will use it for the bathroom or sex?”

Diana blinked. “… Pardon…?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Queen Dragon is half-Japanese/Half-American, raised in Japan. She is well aware that Queen Dragon-sama is grammatically incorrect and redundant, but it helps differentiate her from another popular mangaka who also has Dragon in her pen name, which is why interviews and Papuru-chan refers to Queen Dragon as such.
> 
> They know each other, but have no interactions nor relations, being from different publishing houses and catering to different audiences.


	3. Chapter 3

“What the hell is this?!” Weiss screamed, her cheeks burning as she found herself in Queen Dragon’s latest concept, drawn just before a break. “Aren’t these Lumen suits supposed to be _armour?!”_

Even to those that didn’t have a lick of military nor combat experience, it certainly looked _far_ from it.

Most of her body was left completely exposed, the chest plate modeled like a corset conforming to her petite, lithe figure; the mechanical exo-skeleton over her waist and her thighs resembled the straps of a garterbelt and stockings; the heels of her leg armour were raised four inches off the ground and the plating stopped a few inches up her knees, with the armour on her arms was just as skimpy. And as if it wasn’t revealing _enough,_ instead of the usual full body jumpsuit underneath it all, Weiss was drawn wearing a light blue, legless leotard, the only signs it was supposed to be an official uniform being the logo of the Lumania Defense Force, and her future designation:

“Lucky 03”

“I’m _pretty_ sure that’s a non-combat model meant for ‘raising morale,’ am I right, Jaune?” Mercury said teasingly, before he elbowed Jaune beside him.

Jaune didn’t react, instead continuing to sit with his eyes squeezed shut, body instinctively braced for serious physical injury.

“I _really_ gotta agree with Mercury, Weiss, that thing isn’t armour, it just has…” Ruby muttered, looking at her with _extremely_ mixed emotions. “… _S_ _o_ many glaring design flaws.

“Not to mention its aesthetics!” Coco added, throwing her hand-out. “Ugh, no sense of subtlety, grace, or coyness anywhere...” she muttered, shaking her head.

“And no doubt that Queen Dragon and Hentai-sama are likely collaborating on this.” Glynda finished with a nod.

“Yeah, that totally looks like something he’d draw, or she knows he’d like to see...” Velvet said, ears drooping as she blushed and covered most of her face with her hands, peering through her fingers.

Cinder sighed heavily. “Stars above, I wish those two never became friends...”

“Well, that certainly does explain a lot, thank you, now could you all _PLEASE STOP STARING!?”_ Weiss screeched, trying to cover herself up.

“Oh, _come on,_ Weiss, it’s not like your primary role isn’t fanservice for your audience!” Mercury teased.

“ _FUCK YOU,_ MERCURY!” Weiss screeched. “If could take a single step off this page, I would slap you _so_ fucking hard your prosthetic legs will be standing without you!”

Mercury laughed. “Yeah, _real_ threatening when I’ll just be back to normal the second after, as if nothing ever happened.”

Cinder groaned. “Enough messing around, Black! And that’s an _order!”_

“Seriously, Major?” Mercury asked, disappointed. “We’re off duty at the moment, aren’t we?”

“We’re _also_ in the presence of civilians, and I had _hoped_ you’d at least try to reign in some of your worse impulses,” Cinder snapped back. “We have a reputation to maintain, you know!”

As Cinder continued to rip into Mercury, and Mercury to defend himself, Weiss continued to try and cover herself up, shaking with anger and embarrassment as it was clear no angle and nothing she could would make the outfit any less revealing, clearly trying her damnedest not to cry.

Ruby noticed and frowned, looked around and noticed that Neo was on her phone, ignoring her everything around her. She reached over and poked her on the shoulder, Neo looked up at her curiously.

“BORROW CAN?” Ruby signed, using one hand to point at her mundane umbrella hanging off one of her chair’s arms, then at Weiss.

Neo looked at Weiss, her eyebrows rising and her lips curling into an amused smirk, before she turned back to Ruby, and gave it to her.

“THANK YOU,” Ruby signed with a smile, before she turned to Weiss, and cried, “Hey Weiss! Catch!”

Weiss caught the umbrella, looked confused for a moment, before realization hit and she opened it in front of her; it wasn’t nearly large enough to cover all of her, but it did hide a great deal from the main cast members, and for now, that was enough for her to relax.

“ _Wow,_ _i_ _ntentionally_ inviting bad luck _and_ compromising your artist’s vision?” Mercury said in mock shock. “I’m _surprised_ , Weiss! Never thought little miss Class Rep had it in her.”

“For the last time, _enough,_ Black!” Cinder yelled, smoke and embers pouring out of her mouth now. “Or do you _want_ me to demonstrate how Umbra powers can be used for disciplining misbehaving soldiers…?”

That got Mercury flinching. “Now, now, Major!” he said, suddenly sitting up straight in his chair. “No need for a mini-martial, I’ll behave now.”

“Good,” Cinder said, the smoke and embers quickly fading to nothing.

“I have to say I’m _disappointed_ in your lack of control over your own soldiers, Maj. Fall, especially since you’re supposed to be leading a quick reaction force,” Glynda said. “Then again, I can’t say I’m entirely surprised.”

“And what is _that_ supposed to mean?” Cinder huffed, the smoke returning with a vengeance.

“Only that you’re young, inexperienced, and _clearly_ have a long way to go before you have begin to have a firm hold on your own unit.” Glynda replied.

Cinder scowled, before she shook her head, and relaxed. “Tch, criticism of my leadership from a civilian… that’s rich.”

“And you say that like you need a military background to detect poor management,” Glynda said quietly.

Cinder’s gripped the arms of her chair, the veins of her hands popping visibly under her skin, the embers and smoke starting to grow into little tongues of flame. Jaune again braced himself for imminent suffering, everyone else looked uneasy as the air suddenly grew heavy and heated, Cinder’s soldiers especially.

Then, Cinder relaxed her grip and calmly turned away from Glynda, the atmosphere lightened up immediately, and everyone else did also. The incident was soon forgotten or shuffled to the back of their minds as Queen Dragon came back from her break and resumed drawing, and quickly started getting serious about her designs.

It was soon obvious that Weiss was her model of choice for designing the new Lumen suits she was making for the crossover; for dozens of styles in the overall form, variations within individual components, and even the most minute of details like the exact shape and configurations of the external and internal indicator lights, Weiss was the one drawn, rather than any other character, a generic, faceless dummy, or free-floating components as earlier.

She drew her standing at rest, at attention, in a variety of “cool” stances for the inevitable group pose for the cover. She drew her preparing to fight, in the middle of close-combat attacks, or firing all manner of configurations of shapes meant to stand-in for weapons. She drew her running, jumping, or even flying about the field via a “Garuda” flight unit, or the much smaller, short-lived thrusters that all of the suits had.

Variations began to narrow down to but a handful of prototypes, quality began to improve dramatically, Weiss began to transform herself, Hentai-sama’s cartoonish and simplistic style being overtaken by Queen Dragon’s much more realistic and detailed designs. By the very end of it, Weiss was a far cry from the hastily sketched, skimpy and fetishistic outfit she had been drawn with hours before.

Now, she stood almost completely covered in plate metal, heavy, bulky, and doubtless capable of taking punishment that would have killed a regular LDF footsoldier several times over. She wielded a fusion between a lance and an energy rifle in one hand, and held her helmet in the crook of her other arm; her iconic ponytail was tied into a tight bun, her posture perfectly straight; and her gaze calm and serious as she looked out to an undrawn battlefield, the opposing army already charging in from the horizon.

“Like a princess about to go to war...” Coco said, smiling and impressed.

And just like that, a bell sounded, the publishing assistants all cheered or heaved sighs of relief, and the studio lights on Weiss began to shut-off—Queen Dragon was calling it for the day.

“Is it all over?” Weiss asked, looking confused as she came out of her pose.

“Yep!” Mercury said, hopping off his chair and stretching his arms, working the servos of his legs. “Don’t worry, I’m sure the Chief will go right back to playing _Pretty Princess Dress-Up: War Edition_ with you by next week.”

“ _Dismissed_ , Firebrand! All convene again on Monday as per usual,” Cinder said, as she got up and calmly strode to the exit.

The rest of the cast members started to do the same, until Weiss cried, _“Hey!_ You all forgetting something here?!”

They all turned to look, saw Weiss was still in her Lumen suit, scowling as assistants took away her weapons and helmet.

Mercury smirked. “Can’t even get out of your own Lumen suit, can you, Weiss?” he asked.

“I suppose my never having gone through the requisite training has a great deal to do with it,” Weiss growled. “Now how do I get out?!”

“It’s thought-controlled, Schnee,” Cinder replied as she resumed walking. “Simply think of the suit coming off of you, and it will.”

“Thank you,” Weiss said, before she closed her eyes, and started taking deep breaths.

Everyone but Jaune left the studio, he stopped by the door looking in concern as Weiss still seemed stuck inside her suit. “You having trouble, Weiss?” Jaune asked.

“Some, but nothing I can’t handle!” Weiss replied, eyes still closed. “Just go, Jaune, I don’t want to waste your time.”

“Are you sure?” Jaune asked again. “Because I’m not really doing anything right now...”

Weiss gritted her teeth. “I’m _sure_ , Jaune, now if you can _please leave_ so I can concentrate, this is apparently harder than it sounds.”

“Maybe I can--” Jaune started.

“ _Go,_ Jaune.” Weiss said, glaring icily at him.

Jaune winced, before he awkwardly shuffled out with the last of the publisher’s assistants. The lights shut off, Weiss sighed internally, before she closed her eyes and resumed trying to get out of her suit. A minute later, she was still wearing it, the frustration now clear on her face, her gloved hands clenching tightly.

There was a knocking on the door, Ruby poked her head in and asked, “Hey Weiss?”

“What is it?!” Weiss snapped.

Ruby was unfazed as she replied, “I was wondering if you wanted to go check up on Diana with me, seeing as we missed the emergency meeting earlier and all.”

“… Oh.” Weiss said, calming down. “Has she texted again?”

“Nope, not a peep out of her since,” Ruby replied.

“Then I’ll have to decline, and encourage you not to do so in the first place,” Weiss said. “She’s likely having some personal time, and you know how she likes it long and uninterrupted.”

Ruby nodded. “Fair point.” After a brief pause, she said, “So, do you need any help getting out of your suit?”

Weiss sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Yes please… I don’t want to be stuck in this thing till I show up for the new chapter on Monday.”

Ruby chuckled as she approached. “Nobody does, these suits are meant for battle, after all.”

“Is that why don’t have any conveniently located ‘Off’ switches?” Weiss asked sarcastically.

“Yep!” Ruby replied, nodding her head. “Umbra are always smarter than we’d like them to be, so if we put anything like a switch, or even a voice command to take off the suits, I’ve no doubt that Anoke would make it so that they could find some way to press it, or mimic the exact voices of the wearers, force them out of the suit and kill them while they’re completely unprotected.”

“That’s… _incredibly_ disturbing.” Weiss said slowly.

“There’s a good reason we have the content warning in front of every chapter,” Ruby said gravely, before she lightened up and said, “So, what have you been thinking about, exactly?”

“Pardon me?” Weiss asked.

“Sorry, ‘What things have you been thinking of to try and get the suit off of you?’ is what I should have asked,” Ruby replied.

“I’m still confused, Ruby,” Weiss replied.

Ruby blinked, before she snorted and facepalmed. “Oh, right, you don’t have any training! Sorry, back in our series, no one even got to touch the suits without the proper training, let alone be in one… anyway, we users tend to use mental association and physical cues to help get our suits off. Mine is imagining me shrugging off a jacket or a cloak, while moving my shoulders like this,” she said, demonstrating it.

“Wow, what a clever, convenient, and helpful piece of information I could have _seriously_ done with earlier!” Weiss said, scowling.

“Sorry again,” Ruby said. “Want to try it?”

“I suppose there’s no harm...” Weiss muttered, before she closed her eyes and mimicked Ruby.

After a few moments, it definitely wasn’t working. “Am I doing something wrong here?” Weiss asked, frowning.

“Maybe you should try something that’s more comforting and relaxing instead,” Ruby replied.”Like, ah, imagine yourself going to sleep all curled up in your bed; slowly sinking into a nice, hot bath; maybe even vegging out on the couch while you settle in with a nice book or your favourite TV shows.

“Lots of users tend to do just that after getting back to base, making for very strong mental association.”

“Yes, that might work much better,” Weiss said, before she closed her eyes and tried again.

A minute later, still no change.

“Is it _still_ not working?” Ruby asked.

“No...” Weiss muttered. “I can’t stop thinking about the fact that Hentai-sama was probably drawing me like that for an ecchi scene...”

“Hrm, you’re right…” Ruby said, frowning. She furrowed her brow, looking deep in thought, until her eyes brightened up and she snapped her fingers. “I’ve got it!”

“What’s the plan?” Weiss asked.

Ruby circled around behind Weiss, held out her arms, and cried, “Trust fall!”

“Trust fall?” Weiss asked, confused.

“Yeah, trust fall!” Ruby replied. “Just let yourself completely relax, and imagine falling right into my arms.”

“Won’t this likely result in me falling right out of this suit in reality?” Weiss said, looking behind her and at Ruby.

“Which is why I’m standing here like this, duh!” Ruby said.

“And you’re sure you can catch me instead of breaking my fall?” Weiss asked.

“Of course!” Ruby replied. “Just because we have superpowered suits doesn’t mean we get to skimp on basic training and physical conditioning on the reg. Believe me, I can catch and carry you, _easy!”_

Weiss still looked doubtful, but still, she turned around, closed her eyes, and let herself completely relax. Almost immediately, air started hissing out of previously hidden seams, the back of Weiss’ armour folded out, the actuators inside the exoskeleton gently pushed her out. She fell, tensing up as she felt the air rushing past her for a brief moment, was still tense as strong, firm arms wrapped around her, and gently, carefully lowered back down to her feet.

“You can open your eyes now, Weiss,” Ruby said as she let go of her.

Weiss did, looking at her empty suit closing again, before she turned around to face Ruby, smiling. “Wow… it actually worked! Thank you, Ruby.”

“Told ya,” Ruby said, smiling back.

There was brief moment of silence, the two of them just looking at each other, Weiss quickly growing uneasy. “Is… something wrong, Ruby?” she asked.

“Just taking in how different you look, Weiss,” Ruby said.

“Is it a ‘good’ different or ‘bad’ sort of different…?” Weiss asked.

“Good, _very_ good,” Ruby said quietly. “You look so _beautiful_ , Weiss...”

Weiss blushed, her lip quivering, her body starting to tremble. There was a part of her that told her to get ready for the script to compel her to yell at Ruby for complimenting her, maybe even slap her before she turned away and sulked, calling her a _“baka”_ under her breath…

… But there was no script, no author forcing her to do something, no one making decisions for her but herself.

And what _she_ decided, was that--

_Bang! Bang!_

“Yo, anyone in here?!” a female voice called out. “Ruby?”

One of the doors to the studio burst open, the bright lights of the hallway outside poured in, blinding Ruby and Weiss. They instinctively flinched and cried out, Ruby shielding her eyes with her arm, Weiss turning away from the light and hiding her face.

“Oh, _shit!_ I am _so_ sorry, _totally_ didn’t mean to interrupt whatever was going on here!”

Ruby lowered her arm, squinted as she tried to make out the new arrival. “Yang? Is that you?”

“Yep!” Yang replied, waving quickly. “Just going to be waiting outside now, feel free to just come out whenever, or just text! Okay, _buh-bye!”_ she said, before she closed the door again, plunging them back into darkness.

Ruby frowned in confusion, before she shrugged, and turned back to Weiss. “You okay, Weiss…?” she asked.

“I’m fine...” Weiss said through gritted teeth, her face still turned away from the door.

“You sure…?” Ruby asked, stepping towards her. “Because you don’t--”

“I’m. _Fine.”_ Weiss repeated icily, her hands balling into fists.

Ruby nodded slowly, before she pointed to the doors. “I’ll just be going now… see you, Weiss.”

“ _Bye...”_ Weiss said tersely.

Ruby stepped out of of the studio, very carefully pulling open the door to keep the light from hitting Weiss again. After some brief, muffled conversation between her and Yang filtering in from the other side, they went down the hallway and were gone.

Weiss pulled out her phone, turned on the camera, and checked herself out. Already Queen Dragon’s design was fading away, her face rapidly losing much of the fine detail and semi-realistic qualities, turning back into Hentai-sama’s simplistic, cartoony style, her hair magically loosening from its bun.

A massive, glowing red vein popped up on her head, before Weiss _screamed._


	4. Chapter 4

Yang stood outside of the studio Weiss and Ruby were in, the expression on her face sliding between pride, excitement, and regret; she debated walking back up the hallway to the elevator without another word, before she heard the door opening again, watched Ruby carefully slipping outside.

“Aw, crap, I totally killed the mood back there, didn’t I?” Yang asked quietly.

“No, because there wasn’t a ‘mood’ to ruin in the first place.” Ruby replied calmly.

Yang groaned. “Shit, Ruby, I know your backstory gave you absolutely zero social skills whatsoever, but I’d have thought even someone as awkward as you would have picked up on what just went on back there!”

“Okay, one: there was nothing like that going on back there; and two, Weiss seems _super_ pissed-off all of a sudden, so we should probably leave before we get caught up in the collateral damage.”

Yang sighed. “Haah, fine, I’m not going to argue with the wrath of a _tsundere_...” she muttered as she and Ruby started heading to the elevators.

Moments later, a shrill, muffled scream echoed in the hallway, the two of them stopped and winced. As muted sounds of violence, breaking objects, and frustrated shrieks followed it, the two of them almost broke into a run, repeatedly pressing the call button for the nearest elevator, casting looks over their shoulder until they were inside and the doors had closed in front of them.

Both of them sighed in relief. “Sorry for risking our hides back there, Rubes, I know you like to leave the danger behind with the last page,” Yang said.

“Eh, I’ve accepted there’s always a risk even outside our chapters,” Ruby replied, shrugging. “So, you were looking for me?”

“Yeah, I wanted to get the lowdown on the whole crossover business on your end, seeing as the Director’s planning to wing it like M is,” Yang replied. “I was thinking we could talk at the Last Round, but I think I owe you a bowl of strawberries from the Concession after all that,” she said as she pressed the button for the _Guardian of the Fallen Star_ ’s floor.

Ruby beamed. “Well, I definitely won’t say no~” she hummed.

Yang chuckled. “Figured… so what’s it looking like in your series, now that the Clover’s joining?” she asked as the elevator began to move.

“New tech and Lumen suits!” Ruby replied. “Especially notable is that Weiss and the others are _definitely_ getting their own.”

“ _Nice!”_ Yang said. “I gotta say, I’m pretty jealous; none of my new outfits and costumes are ever going to be super cool, high-tech robot armour.”

“Don’t lose hope, Yang!” Ruby said. “If this crossover thing goes super well with our audiences, we may have another one soon, and then _our_ series could be paired up next!”

“Already got a good idea of what it’s going to look like, I take it?” Yang asked playfully.

“Already have since we became honourary sisters,” Ruby replied, nodding her head. “I’m thinking, CQC specialist, Trooper-Titan class armour, shotguns mounted on top of kinetic strike modules for brawling with Crushers and the like, or maybe a combination propulsion/chemical-weapon system with combustion jets on your hands and feet.

“Oh, and obviously, its colour scheme can’t be anything _but_ bright, almost golden yellow with black accents, something highly visible while being swarmed by Umbra, and also makes as much of a statement and an impact as the weapons systems.”

Yang blinked. “Damn, you really _have_ thought this thing through, haven’t you?” she muttered.

“I can show you the drafts in my notebook, and I’ve made an entire scrapbook of all the parts I could use to build a working prototype,” Ruby said, smiling and nodding.

 _Ding._ The elevators stopped.

“Maybe some other time, Rubes,” Yang said as she stepped out, into the main gardens of Luna Nova Theater Academy. “For now, let’s keep our focus on the suits that are actually getting officially drawn.” She said, before she turned to the white margins on the side, held up her arm, and yelled, “TAXI!”

Almost instantly, a London-inspired cab came roaring up to the two of them, swerving to a stop just before it hit them, rocking on its suspension for a moment. _Click._ The back doors opened on their own accord, the generic cabbie looked over his shoulder and asked, “Where to?”

“To the Concession!” Ruby cried as she hopped in.

“Yes, to the place of horribly overpriced yet delicious snacks and meals!” Yang continued as she climbed in after her.

“Got it,” the cabbie said, before the door closed by itself once more, and the cab went roaring back into the white space of the margins.

Several other recurring settings and backgrounds flew by them—the Fallen Star troupe’s bedroom, the common room for their wing of the dorms, a lecture room and a practice studio each—before the cab swerved to a stop again, impeccable driving skill and fictional physics keeping Ruby and Yang from flying into the doors and each other.

_Click._

The back door opened once again, Ruby and Yang thanked the cabbie as they stepped out, the latter tipping him with bills that had just mysteriously appeared in her pocket. He thanked them back, before he was roaring back into the margins, disappearing from view and existence.

“So, what’s it looking like for the Clover?” Yang said as they stepped into the Concession, the dozens upon dozens of tables completely empty. “Are they all getting the ‘ace custom’ treatment like your squad, or just the stock models with handful of personal touches to tell them from the crowds?”

“Can’t say for sure at the moment,” Ruby said replied as she went to one of the two-person corner tables, and pulled out a chair for herself. “So far, it’s only Weiss that’s got a fully designed suit at all, which isn’t surprising because she’s all _Anoke_ drew for this session.”

“Really now?” Yang said, grinning. “Looks like someone’s got a new fa-vourite~!” she hummed as she pulled out her chair. “Good thing she’s an artist, right?”

Ruby just rolled her eyes as she picked up a menu and opened it up.

Almost immediately, a goblin waiter appeared from outside their view, scurrying along the floors before floating up to their eye-level on an enchanted serving tray. “Welcome to the Luna Nova Dining Hall, what will you be having today, madams?” he asked, bowing.

“A big bowl of your finest strawberries, with a cup of hot cocoa with whipped cream on the side, please!” Ruby said, beaming.

“And I’ll have one of your _finer_ bottles of beer, my good goblin,” Yang replied with mock stateliness.

“Of course, madam,” the waiter goblin said as he smiled and nodded at Ruby, before eyeing Yang with a mixture of annoyance and cool professionalism as he said, “Underage students are prohibited from consuming alcohol within the school grounds, outside of special events, or certain other exemptions.”

“Come on, man!” Yang cried, throwing her hands up. “Do you _see_ any teachers around here? We’re both here after-hours, for Pete’s sake!”

“I am sorry, madam, but this is how I and the establishment were written,” the waiter huffed. “If you find these to your dissatisfaction, then I suggest you look in a different series’ businesses.”

Yang groaned. “Fine: a tall mug of Honeybrew— _100%_ , I can tell if it’s been watered down!”

The waiter gasped softly in shock. “We’d never dream of being part of such a travesty, madam,” he said, shaking his head. “Your orders will be ready in but a handful of minutes,” he said, before went out of view and existence both.

“So, you mentioned Queenie only drew Weiss earlier?” Yang asked.

“Yep!” Ruby replied. “Pretty much the whole time we were there, it was just tech, Weiss, and Weiss using the tech.”

“You must have _really_ enjoyed that,” Yang teased.

“Mhmm!” Ruby replied. “ _Anoke_ drafted all kinds of new individual components and concepts for Lumen suits with her, _way_ beyond anything we can do in the canon timeline! We’re both roughly the same size, too, so it’s pretty easy to imagine what Cres would look like if ever I decided to retrofit her, or if _Anoke_ decides I need an entirely new suit for whatever reason.”

Yang nodded and kept the smile on her face. “Did she ever settle on complete sets, or was it just bits and pieces of ideas here and there?”

“Mostly the latter, _but_ she did finish a handful of complete sets,” Ruby replied. “There’s a pretty good bet Anoke’s already settled on the final design that’s going to make it to the actual chapter, though, and Weiss looks absolutely _amazing_ in it,” she said, a dreamy expression coming over her face.

“Please, _do tell,”_ Yang said, leaning over and grinning.

“The armour plating is absolutely phenomenal!” Ruby began. “Streamlined, sleek, yet still definitely looking solid and capable of taking its fair share of punishment, though obviously not to the level of Coco’s or Mercury’s. Her weapon is a custom fusion lance, I’m sure, only obviously smaller and lighter; hopefully it just means that the effective range and up-time is severely reduced, because I’d _really_ enjoy seeing that sort of destructive capability, with the flexibility and mobility that a Lumen suit has compared to a Tsunami. Oh, and I absolutely can’t forget the extra boosters all over her body, and the built-in support for even _more_ mobility components—I don’t know what it’s going to be exactly, but I’ll bet good money it’s a smaller, more mobile version of a Garuda!”

She squealed. “I can’t wait to see Weiss in action, she’s going to be absolutely amazing on the field—like a ballerina of death, dancing and jetting around Lumen as she turns them all to ash!”

Yang nodded along, mixed emotions on her face. “Awesome!”

The waiter returned with their orders, carrying it around on a second floating tray. “Your orders, madams: one large bowl of strawberries, and hot cocoa with whipped cream—all freshly picked, brewed, or whipped up—and a tall mug of 100% Honeybrew, not a _single_ drop of water more than the recipe calls for,” he said as he served it to the both of them.

“Thank you!” Ruby hummed, before she wasted no time picking up a strawberry, swiping it on her drink’s cream, before putting it in her mouth.

“Would madam enjoy a separate bowl of cream for her strawberries?” the waiter asked.

“Nah, I prefer it this way!” Ruby said as she chewed, juice dribbling down her lips.

“As you wish,” the waiter said, bowing. “Is there anything else I can assist with?”

“One thing,” Yang said, side-eyeing him as she picked up her mug, then took a slow, loud swig of her drink. She smacked her lips and hummed, before she put it down and waved him off. “Okay, you can go.”

The waiter bowed, tucking the serving tray under his arm. “Please, do not hesitate to call for assistance, should you require it,” he said as he floated down back to the ground, before promptly disappearing a third time.

Ruby devoured most of her bowl of strawberries, juice dripping all over her hands and mouth, the cream smeared all over lips and her fingertips, making pleased noises all the while. Yang drank her honeybrew as she watched and waited for her to slow down.

“You good?” Yang asked some time later.

“Mhmm!” Ruby said, before she licked her lips, sucked the mess off her fingers.

“Great!” Yang said. “So, Ruby, I can understand why all of this new tech and weapons have got you _super_ excited, but there’s just one thing that I can’t figure out...”

“What is it?” Ruby asked, a new strawberry mid-way to her mouth.

“What exactly happened with you and Weiss, between the concept art session being over, and my barging in on the two of you?”

“Weiss couldn’t get out of her suit, not having had any training in how it works and all, so I was helping her,” Ruby replied, before she popped the fruit into her mouth.

“And what did _that_ involve?” Yang asked, putting her mug down and leaning forward.

“A trust fall,” Ruby replied as she chewed. “She fell into my arms, I put her back down on her feet, and she turned around to look at me as she thanked me, then you came in.”

Confusion came over Yang’s face, she peered at Ruby closely. “… That’s it…?”

“Yes, _that’s it,”_ Ruby replied, swallowing her food before she groaned. “Honestly, Yang? I get why it’s pretty easy to assume the most perverted explanation because when it’s with you, it’s almost always _exactly_ what you think it is, but it’s the complete opposite with Weiss, in case you forgot.”

“I didn’t and I know that, but in my defense, this isn’t a scripted chapter of her manga, nor do we have an audience to make laugh—something was _definitely_ up back there!”

“And I’m telling you that nothing was, regardless of your barging in.” Ruby replied as she calmly picked up a new strawberry.

“And how are you so sure about that...?” Yang asked

“Because I already asked Weiss if she wanted to go out with me, she told me she wasn’t interested, but still wanted me around as _just_ a friend, so that’s what I’ve been since,” Ruby replied, before she put the strawberry in her mouth.

Yang stared, stunned. For a while, Ruby just calmly enjoyed her food and drink, but eventually Yang’s mind processed everything she had just been told, and she screamed: **“** **NANI?!** When was this?! Why did I not know about this?! Why are you telling me just now?!”

Ruby calmly sucked in a breath, and said, “Yang, sit back down, please.”

Yang pulled her face away from Ruby’s, and dropped back into her seat.

“Now take a long drink of your honeybrew...”

Yang did, gulping down every last drop till she slammed the empty mug back down on the table.

“Now deep breaths, in and out...” Ruby said.

After a number of repetitions, Yang was noticeably calmer.

“I’m going to answer your questions in order now, okay?” Ruby said.

Yang nodded.

“Like I said: I asked Weiss if she wanted to go out with me, she told me she wanted interested, but still wanted me as _just_ a friend, so that’s what I’ve been since,” Ruby said.

Yang nodded.

“’Since’ being three months ago.”

Yang’s eyes widened, before her expression turned into one of hurt and betrayal. “But _why_ , Ruby…? I’m your honourary _onee-san,_ aren’t I?” she whimpered, putting her hand to her chest.

“You are!” Ruby said, reaching out and touching Yang’s free hand. “Which is _exactly_ why I never told you then, and you’re only finding out now.”

“Then please, explain” Yang said, annoyed now.

Ruby took her hand back, folded her arms on the table, and said, “Yang, can you—with _full confidence_ —tell me that if I had told you that Weiss had turned me down on the same day that it had happened, you **wouldn’t** have interrogated me for every last gruesome detail, hunted down Weiss through this entire building, then interrogated and cross-examined her for an hour or so, finishing with beg-threatening her to reconsider…?”

There was a long, uncomfortable silence, one which Ruby used to finish off the last of her strawberries and her cocoa. As she put down her now empty mug, Yang finally replied: “I wouldn’t beg-threat her to change her mind like that! That’d just be really sad, and _way_ too desperate.”

Ruby nodded slowly, an unimpressed look on her face.

Yang sheepishly looked away, before she asked, “So… are there any plans to talk about this again? Things might get _super_ awkward since you’re going to have to work together for the first time in actual _chapters,_ than just posing together for an ad, or an _omake.”_

“None, and since it’s never come up since then, I doubt it’ll come up now.” Ruby replied.

“It feels like this big crossover’s the perfect time for it to do just that, though...” Yang said.

“But it _also_ wouldn’t be the first time any of our artists have completely dropped a plot point, and never picked it up again, regardless of how well an arc would be for its return,” Ruby countered.

Yang sighed. “Alright… you seem pretty confident about this, and you know Weiss better than I do—but Ruby, just promise me one thing from here on out?”

“What is it?”

“Could you please not hide major things like this from me again?” Yang asked. “I felt _really_ hurt back there, like we’d suddenly backslid, and I never noticed. I’m your _onee-san_ , remember? You can tell me anything and everything,” she said as she reached out and put her hand over Ruby’s.

Ruby smiled at her, before she slowly shook her head, and gently pulled her hand out from under Yang’s. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that, Yang… it’s not that I don’t appreciate all you’ve done for me then and up to now, I really do and always will! _But,_ I think it’s long past the time when I should start keeping _some_ secrets from you again.

“You’re always going to be my honourary _onee-san_ , Yang… but I’m not going to be the same Ruby forever.”

Yang sighed, and looked down, before she sniffed, and wiped a tear from her eye. “Man… it’s been like, what, half a year since we met? You’ve had _so much_ character development since then, Rubes”

“I know.” Ruby said, smiling.

The waiter arrived, politely butting in and offering to clear their table, Ruby and Yang let him and decided it was time to pay their bill, too. The waiter whipped out a booklet, their dues magically appearing on the surface inside.

“I’ll guess I’ll see you next time, Yang,” Ruby said as she hopped off her seat.

“Till the next,” Yang said as she dug into her pocket for money. “Oh, and Ruby, before you go?”

“What is it?” Ruby asked. “Got another favour to ask?”

“No, I just want you to know that from here on out, I’m going to knock and wait for you to answer, so I don’t accidentally ruin a moment when it actually happens.” Yang replied, grinning. “We can discuss signals or how long it should be before we assume some other time.”

Ruby blushed and shook her head. “Thanks, _Nee-san,_ I appreciate it.”

“Anything for my _imouto,”_ Yang replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinetic Strike Modules are also affectionately referred to as “Rocket Punchers.” As the nickname implies, they are a series of combustion propulsion jets mounted on the sides of a Lumen suit’s normal gloves, with a special armour plate over the knuckles designed to maximize the kinetic force of a punch, and even modify the dispersal of the energy for more precise or destructive strikes.


	5. Chapter 5

The weeks passed, plots, stakes, and shenanigans ramped up mostly in line with their predictions as their _mangakas_ decided to make canon anniversary specials before the non-canon crossovers on the month itself.

Phoenix Squad and all of Lumania reckoned with the new reality of the war, now that there seemed to be no more safe haven that the Umbra couldn’t invade, stalkers showing up seemingly anywhere and everywhere to murder soldiers, terrorize civilians, and sow paranoia all throughout the realm.

The Fallen Star Troupe had been chosen to participate in a grand, inter-school event at Luna Nova; a friendly Teatro they and several other students had participated in went horribly, catastrophically wrong; and now Akko was trying to keep herself and her friends from being framed for the destruction of a priceless chandelier, _and_ the attempted murder of the actress that had nearly been crushed to death when it fell.

In the Horizon, the West Wind was back in the land _Way_ Down Under, reckoning with all of the foes they had intentionally or accidentally killed since their last visit, and according to Diana, the Mistress M was paying homage to how Amanda and the rest of them used to be in their webcomic days--”sociopaths who’d sooner shoot first than ask questions, simply because it’s faster and more convenient than the alternative.”

And over at Yanagida High School, one of the antagonistic love interests had returned with a vengeance, bringing with her an old plot device from a long forgotten arc, and a _tenuous_ alliance with several of the other popular, temporary rivals for Jaune’s affections, all with the goal of stealing him away from the city, and keep him well out of the reach of their greatest mutual enemies: Pyrrha, Velvet, and Weiss.

They vented, they commiserated, and they discussed how to cope with the stress and distress to keep producing the best quality manga they could, whilst keeping themselves sane and _mostly_ put together once they were off the page. There were a handful of times when they discussed the promotions and developments for the crossover specials, now that the Papuru had officially announced it, and began releasing information, art, and synopses to the public accordingly, but there was so much to unpack with a single one of their series that they simply didn’t have enough time nor desire to devote that much to them.

But inevitably, all those arcs ended.

The crises were solved, the status quo adjusted to the new normal if it didn’t just snap back to the way it always was, and now all of Papuru Fiction was going all out with the preparations for the anniversary and the crossovers; the floodgates were opened, and deluge of advertising, press releases, and special events swept up seemingly every last staff member _,_ third-party contractor, and character. 

When  it finally let  up,  Akko, Weiss, Ruby, and Diana found  there was n’t much  free time left before the first  crossover chapters were to be  finalized and published .  Still, they  trudged into  their  meeting  room,  dropping into their seats before  Diana straightened up on her beanbag, and asked, “Is everyone ready to start the meeting?”

The others groaned and sat up on the couch, muttering “Yep...”, “Yes.”, and “Ready to rock.”

“Then would anyone like to begin our session, or shall we start with the usual order?” Diana asked.

Weiss raised her hand. “I’d like to, if no one objects.”

“No objections.” Ruby said, while Akko said, “You can go on ahead, Weiss.”

“Thank you,” Weiss said, before she sucked in a deep breath, and said: “I just don’t know. I don’t know what’s going to happen with either my, or Ruby’s crossover chapters, I don’t know how I feel about them, and I don’t know what to do about it.

“Every time I think about the crossover, I’m reminded of it, or we have to do work for it, I get this _sick feeling_ in my stomach, and I don’t know if it’s because I’m excited or I’m dreading it; if it makes me want to vomit or laugh; if it makes me want to break something, or break down in tears.

“We had a _4-koma_ bonus earlier today about the crossover, and the joke was Jaune dropping me from a bridal carry. I was furious and angry at him as part of the gag, but after the last panel, I just… stopped feeling, and laid there on the floor, because it hit me, stronger than ever:

“This is really _happening_ _._

“I _know_ , I’ve complained hundreds of times about how my manga never truly changes; how everything is so predictable and formulaic; how everything goes back to the status quo at the end of each arc, or even _before the end of a ch_ _a_ _pter._ You all know I’ve begged for something to really come shake things up, an event or an arc that truly leaves its mark on us and the world, breaks the monotony of the week-to-week shenanigans.

“And now that it’s happening… I don’t know if I want it, or I don’t _._

“I’ve read the pre-release summary, but it’s _far_ too coy about details, and too generous with the dire implications. I tried to read some of _Phoenix,_ study what plots, narrative patterns, and arcs Queen Dragon tends to do, but I had to _stop_ before I finished even the first volume, both because I _really_ couldn’t stomach the content, and that I couldn’t find any discernible patterns, except perhaps ‘How will I make my beloved characters suffer even _more_ this time?’”

She sighed and looked down. “I can only pray that Queen Dragon’s influence can help me be as resilient as the rest of the Phoenix Squad, to handle whatever she will be sending our way… I’m quite certain it will be _extremely_ unpleasant and traumatizing.

“And with that, I’m done for the moment.”

Diana nodded. “Would anyone else like to break order?”

“No, Ruby can go next.” Akko said, shaking her head.

Diana nodded, turned to Ruby and said, “The floor is yours.”

Ruby nodded back. “I’m _terrified_ of what’s going to happen when it’s time for the crossover with Weiss’ manga,” she started, suddenly looking uneasy. “Even with the ridiculous, improbable crap that’s _already_ happened there, I doubt that either _Anoke_ nor Hentai-sama can somehow justify that I’m still a member of an elite military force, let alone military _at all_ , so I’m probably just going to be a regular teenage girl.

“And I don’t know _how_ to be a regular teenage girl.

“The Lumania Defense Force? It’s easy, uncomplicated! You deploy wherever they tell you to. You get your orders, you obey them to the best of your ability, and once in a blue moon, you disobey them. You see a moving mass of shadow with fangs and teeth, you kill it, and then you go back to base, you study the data, and then you help develop ways to keep on killing them, ideally in better, more efficient ways that reduce the odds of casualties or injuries, the costs, and/or the effort required.

“Being a teenage girl involves _none_ of that!

“I don’t know how to make friends, what to talk about to break the ice or if they decide to talk to _me_ first, or even what they do when they hang out, because I’m pretty sure ‘recreational shooting,’ ‘weapons engineering,’ or ‘discussing the latest in military technology’ aren’t any of the answers! I don’t know _how_ a normal school system works, how far-reaching is the authority of high school over their students, and what are the unspoken rules between them, like what sort of disobedience is permissible and what’s a straight-ticket to expulsion! And _fuck me_ if someone decides I need to have a crush, because all my experience in romance is _purely_ theoretical!”

She groaned, and sank into the back of the couch, her eyes closed as she slumped her shoulders and turned her head towards the ceiling. “I’m not even worried if I’m going to be a temporary love interest to Jaune, because honestly? It wouldn’t matter _who_ it is, I’m going to flounder and struggle, unless what the script wants me to do is exactly that...”

“Aaand _rant over_ _._ Akko?” Ruby asked, turning to her.

“I was actually wondering if Diana wants to go before me.” Akko replied, before she looked at her.

“I’m sure my gripes can wait, Akko, you may proceed as normal.” Diana replied.

“And are you _really_ sure about that…?” Akko asked carefully.

Diana and the others took notice. “Yes...” Diana said. “I’m assuming there’s something different and significant about your venting for this meeting?”

“Yes.” Akko replied. “I’m _upset,_ and I’m pretty sure what I need to get off my chest might upset you too, so I want to give you a chance to say what you need to say, because this might just end up being all we talk about for the rest of this meeting.

“So please: I want you to be really, _really_ , **really** sure that you don’t want take your turn early.”

Weiss, Ruby, and Diana all looked at Akko, curious and concerned, before Diana furrowed her brow and looked down, thinking it over. A few, tense minutes later, she looked up, and said, “I’m sure, Akko.”

“Okay.” Akko said, her calm expression quickly contorting into rage. **“I’M SICK OF THIS!”** she screamed, throwing her arms up. “I’m sick of the fact that all we’re doing about the crossover is dig for scraps of info and leaks, wonder what the heck may happen, and hope that whatever it is, it won’t completely tear us apart and change things forever!

“ _Why_ are we just sitting here talking, when doomsday is just crawling closer and closer?!”

“Well what _else_ can we do, Akko...?” Diana asked hopelessly.

Akko stopped, the fire in her eyes weakening as she opened her mouth, before she closed it, silently simmering as she scowled and held her face in her hands.

“… I have an idea.” Ruby said.

“I’m listening!” Akko said, perking up instantly.

“So, my squad is almost never actually part of it, what with us being a rapid reaction force and all, but a lot of the soldiers garrisoned near Red Zones tend to have a big potluck on the eve of a large-scale operation, usually ones where we’re expecting heavy losses even if things _do_ go well, if it’s not just outright a suicide mission.” Ruby explained. “It’s never anything fancy: we usually just grab whatever we can from the mess, our personal supplies, and the surrounding area, then we do the best that we can with what we end up with.

“From what I’ve seen, it just really more about everyone enjoying themselves and hanging out than having a halfway decent spread, since it could be the last time they could ever see each other.”

“And that sounds _way_ better than what we’re doing right now,” Akko said, straightening up. “Can we call a vote?” she asked Diana with a hopeful, pleading expression.

Diana nodded. “All in favour of calling an early end to our support meeting to make way for a potluck, please raise your hands.”

Akko and Ruby’s hands shot up, and after a moment’s hesitation, Weiss followed suit.

“And the vote is unanimous: we will end the meeting to host a potluck.” Diana said with nod.

“Yay!” Akko cried, throwing her other arm up.

“Let’s please coordinate and plan to ensure this goes well,” Diana said as she whipped off the curtain of their whiteboard, picking up one of the markers as she slithered off her seat. “For starter’s: who’s getting what?”

Weiss brought back several boxes from the Scarlatina family bakery. “Presenting their perennial bestseller: Honey Bunny Buns!” she said as she opened one up for all to see. “Sadly, not freshly baked, and I don’t know exactly _how_ long these have been sitting on the shelf, but they still seem good…!”

Ruby came back with a duffel bag stuffed to near bursting with LDF MREs, plus several other smaller canvas bags dangling around her waist. “I raided a supply depot and hit the jackpot!” she cried as she set them down on the floor, some of the contents spilling out and scattering all over. “We’ve got basically every single variety MREs come in, regular _or_ vegetarian, and of course we can’t forget the condiments, the trays, or the utensils!”

Diana returned with her portable chemistry kit, several glass containers, and ingredients in the form liquids, powders, and a handful of solids, a good portion of them carefully balanced on her tail as she slithered back into the room. “This is most everything I had in stock at my laboratory, or could scrounge from the recurring sets that are edible, _and_ completely safe to eat .I can’t guarantee everything I or we can make from them will be _good_ , but it will be _something.”_

Akko was the last to return, grumbling under her breath as she rolled a giant wooden barrel along the floor. “Stupid kitchen goblins would only give me this barrel of french fries!” she cried as she opened it up. “Apparently my debts with them are so large, _even with_ all the favours I’ve done for them this is the only thing they say they can give me.

“‘Who shows up to a potluck with barrel full of french fries?’ I asked.

“‘You will,’ they said, and then they disappeared on me and wouldn’t come back no matter how much I begged!”

“At least it’s still fresh and warm, and that counts for a lot in my book!” Ruby said. “Also, can we set all of this up now? That smell is making me _hungry.”_

They quickly got to work, making as attractive and neat of a spread as they could with what they had, before they said _“_ _Itadakimasu!”_ and dug in.

Weiss questioned the quality of LDF MREs as she tried out one of the ‘beef stews’ at Ruby’s recommendation, before they went on to talk about the meals they tended to have, whenever their _mangakas_ bothered to draw it.

Diana taught them the simpler procedures with her chemistry equipment, made some of her go-to recipes for drinks, before they all decided to start experimenting with _very_ mixed results, and learning firsthand why she tested new recipes on anything and everyone but herself if she could help it.

Grease, seasoning salt, bread crumbs, condiments like hot sauce, and honey glaze quickly began to coat the fingers and lips of even the neatest, most controlled eaters of them all, some of them lamented that they couldn’t find anything similar in their manga, cursed their never bothering to try them until today, or discovered bizarre pairings and combinations that worked especially well.

Eventually, however, the food, experimental combinations, and topics of conversation began to run out, and their phones brought more and more reminders about the impending crossover.

Diana sighed as all four of their devices began to frantically ring, they had to pull them out and shut off the alarms manually. “Does anyone have any last-minute business to take care of?” she asked as she began to clean up, and put away her portable chemistry set.

“Well, it’s not mine, exactly...” Akko started “… but do you want to tell us whatever it was you were going to say, before we canceled the meeting for the potluck?”

“I don’t think there’s enough time for any meaningful discussion to come out of it.” Diana said as she dumped out the contents of one glass, wiped it clean before putting it back into her bag.

“Still, it could just be worth getting off your chest for the sake of it.” Weiss said as she stacked up the used trays. “That _is_ how all of this started, after all.”

“So, how about it, Diana?” Akko asked, she, Weiss, and Ruby all looking at her.

Diana slowly opened her mouth, before she closed it, and shook her head. “I still stand by my earlier decision… however, please know that I deeply appreciate the gesture still.”

Akko nodded. “Okay. But if you change your mind--”

“I’ll let you know, yes,” Diana said. “Anything else, anyone?”

“One thing,” Weiss said. “I know you and Ruby both have issues with physical intimacy, but...” she hesitantly opened up her arms. “Can we have a group hug? I mean, it’s fine if you guys do--”

Akko cut her off with a sudden tight hug from the side. After a few moments hesitation, Ruby hugged Weiss other side, and after even more reluctance, Diana joined, also. In the center of it all, Weiss smiled, teared up a little, and whispered, “Thank you.” before she hugged back.

Then, they pulled away from each other, cleaned up their room, and headed to the elevators—the Papuru Fiction Crossover Specials were about to begin.


	6. The Legend of the Phoenix Anniversary Special: Chapter 1

Nestled deep into a thriving, almost untouched forest was a mansion, its wooden walls worn but still sturdy, the original paint long faded, and crawling vines covering most of the sides, beaten back only when it neared the windows, doors, or vents. Numerous facilities for all manner of recreational activities surrounded it: an outdoor exercise field filled with new and shining weights and metal bars; a shed filled with photography equipment and much more exotic, cryptic devices; and a massive greenhouse, filled to the brim with herbs and flowers, and garden plots just outside it.

It was at that last location that Jaune was hard at uprooting and cutting dead and wilted plants, sweat soaking his shirt, his hands covered in dirt and crop waste, and a _hachimaki_ tied around his head to keep his bangs and the sweat out of his eyes.

Velvet stood just outside the fence, discretely watching him as she carried a tray of sandwiches and a pitcher of juice, her ears and the corners of her lips perking up as she watched him stretch and massage his muscular arms.

Jaune noticed her just as he was about to return to his work. “Oh, hey Velvet!” he said, waving.

“Hello, Jaune!” Velvet said, before she raised the tray up. “Snacks? I think you could use them after working so hard all morning long.”

Jaune winced as his stomach grumbled. “Ah, yeah, that’d be awesome, thank you… you can just set them down with Pyrrha and Weiss, I need to go get cleaned up first...” he said, looking at his hands and shirt.

Velvet nodded. “Where are they, anyway?” she asked as she headed to the gate. “I thought they were both helping out today.”

“Haah, _yeah_ , there was a bit of a change of plans...” Jaune muttered, before he gestured over to the side.

Velvet looked, and found Pyrrha and Weiss underneath the shade of a tree. Weiss was laying on the ground, her head on Pyrrha’s lap, her skin flushed red from the heat and damp from the wet towel being used to cool her down.

“Ah,” Velvet said. “I suppose you shouldn’t have insisted you and Pyrrha could handle all the work yourselves after all...?”

Jaune chuckled as he stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans. “You think I’d learn how to work with her stubbornness by now...”

“I can still hear you two, you know!” Weiss yelled from off-panel.

Jaune and Velvet winced, before they sheepishly looked at each other and headed off, to the nearby water pump, or to join the others under the tree.

It seemed to be the perfect set-up to a bright, cloudless summer day for the four of them… until much deeper into the woods, shadows started to swirl and coalesce, animals started fleeing and panicking as shadowy, monstrous creatures began to form…

Elsewhere, Mercury sighed as he sat on the edge of his bunk, lazily undoing the locks and deactivating the powered clamps of his prosthetic legs. “Man, it is _so_ nice to finally get a break and a chance to put my feet down,” he said as he set them down on the floor as one might a pair of shoes. “We should really talk to Command about getting more of these from here on out, right, Sarge?” he said, casting a look above him.

“We work and rest when Command says we do, Black,” Cinder said flatly, before she laid flat on her back and was instantly asleep.

Mercury sighed. “If you ask me, they may as well just go all out with the ‘Tin Man’ project if they’re going to treat us like machines anyway…” he muttered, before he hoisted his leg stumps into his bunk, and lay down to sleep, too.

Alarms started blaring just as he closed his eyes.

Immediately Cinder was up and jumping off her bunk, the others doing the same if they weren’t groggily reaching for a stim first. Mercury sighed heavily as he swung his legs back over the edge, reached out for his prostheses and put them back on.

“And of course _this_ happens...” he said, before he jumped down and chased after them.

Back at the mansion, an alarm from Weiss’ comm-crystal interrupted her and the others’ snacking.

Velvet winced and frowned, her ears lowering in concern. “Should we be worried about that?” she asked.

“It’s just one of the perimeter alarms in the woods,” Weiss said. “Probably just a wolf or a deer that strayed too close to the sensors, the sound alone will likely have scared them off, so it’ll stop soon enough.”

Velvet relaxed.

Then, another alarm rang out, and another, and another, and another, till a holo shot out of Weiss’ comm-crystal, flashing exclamation points all over it.

“Should we be worried about that?” Velvet asked.

A demonic howl cut her off, alongside dozens of other horrifying, unnatural sounds, the earth beginning to rumble as the blue, sunny sky above started turning dark. The sandwiches and the drinks were left abandoned on the ground as they ran to a pickup truck parked nearby.

Jaune yanked open the driver-side door, pulling the key out of his pocket and jamming it into the ignition. The girls jumped or were carried in, before they were kicking up gravel and dust as they tore down the path leading from the house and into the forest.

“I’m calling the LDF!” Weiss cried.

“Don’t forget to put on your seatbelt!” Pyrrha said as she and Velvet strapped themselves in, before reaching over to do the same with Weiss. “You especially, Jaune!”

“On it!” Jaune said, sparing a hand from the steering wheel to reach for his buckle.

“Is now _really_ the time for this?!” Weiss said as Pyrrha buckled her in.

“Yes!” Pyrrha said, looking at her with a stern expression. “This should be one of your very first priori--!”

_Thud._

The truck hit _something_ , everyone inside screamed as it went underneath and set the car rocking and tumbling. Jaune let go of the buckle to grip the steering wheel with both hands, trying to wrestle the car back onto the road.

Trembling, Velvet gripped onto the side of the car, and carefully peered out the window.

_Crack._

She screamed as a Fang Umbra smashed into the glass and cracked it. More and more of them started pouncing on the car, trying to break through the windows, or throwing themselves under the wheels.

“Keep it steady, damn it!” Weiss cried as a crying and shaking Velvet clung onto her, the hologram in front of her jumping all over the place.

“I’m _trying!”_ Jaune cried, fresh sweat pouring down his skin as he tried to see past the Fangs clinging on the windshield.

“ _This is the LDF, what is your emergency?”_ asked an operator.

“ _Oh thank good_ —we’re being attacked a by giant horde of Umbra!” Weiss cried, casting glances at the angry Fangs, and the cracked panes. “We’re in a car and moving, but there’s Fangs everywhere trying to break in and--”

_Crunch._

A Crusher Umbra grabbed onto the grill, the metal bending and warping like paper, stopping the car almost instantly before it hurled it up and over itself. The ladies clutched the bottom of their seats and each other as they screamed, Jaune slammed into the airbags. The truck tumbled and rolled over and over, on its wheels as it smashed into the pole of an Umbra Ward, and came to a violent, sudden stop.

The Ward’s pole was barely dented, its blazing light burned or scared off the Fangs still clinging on, had the rest of the horde hissing and clawing at the edges of the circle, before they retreated further back into the shadows. Everyone remained in their seats, frozen in terror.

“Ma’am? Ma’am?” the operator asked. “What happened? Are you all alright?”

“ _NO, NO WE ARE NOT ALRIGHT!”_ Weiss screeched, tears pouring down her eyes. She shut her eyes tight, trembling violently as she took deep, steady breaths. “Please…” she whimpered, “we’re at the Ward just outside of the Schnee Manor’s entrance from the highway, hur--”

_Crunch._

A sizzling, burning beak punched through the roof, just missing Weiss by six inches or so. Everyone froze again, watching as the beak and the Razorwing Umbra who owned it quickly burned to ash, no match for the Ward outside.

They relaxed, until _more_ beaks started punching through.

_Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Creaakk..._

Weiss screamed, scrambling to one corner as the Umbra ripped open part of the roof, claws, beaks, and jaws trying to reach in and grab her before the Ward destroyed them. Without any weapons, they could only dodge and try to climb underneath the seats.

A crusher managed to grab Weiss by the front of her dress, lifting up out of the car.

“Weiss!” Jaune cried, grabbing onto her waist just before the crusher threw her up into the air, out of the light of the ward. A waiting Razorwing swooped in and grabbed Weiss, screeching and frantically flapping his wings as Jaune’s weight dragged it down, into the light and safety.

About a mile away and high up in the air, traveling by their Garuda flight units, Ruby watched the whole thing through the scope of her rifle. “Permission to fire?” she asked calmly.

“Granted.” Cinder replied.

A single, bright laser shot through the air, striking and killing the Razorwing near-instantly, Weiss and Jaune dropping back into the car. The other Umbra noticed, immediately fleeing from their truck and turning their attention to the skies.

“Looks like they’ve found us~” Mercury said in a low, sing-song voice.

“All units, weapons clear,” Cinder said as she pulled out her rifle, the barrel lighting up. “Rose, Black, Neo, extract those civilians ASAP, priority to the injured. Adel, you’ll be thinning the herd and holding them back with me.”

“Roger,” everyone but Mercury said.

“Something the matter, Black?” Cinder asked calmly.

“Just noticed you didn’t mention anything about our VIP down there, Sarge,” he replied.

“My orders stand.” Cinder replied. “Don’t give her any special treatment, and leave her to her fate if it comes to that.”

“Wow, that is a LOT harsher than you usually are.” Mercury said.

Cinder scowled. “Black, anyone who **chooses** to live this far out from the city centers and proper defenses has a death wish.”

“Hrm, fair enough,” Mercury hummed.

“Break formation!” Cinder said, the squad splitting into two. “Afterburners, engage!”

_Whirr…_

“ **ATTACK!”**

_Whoom._

Phoenix blasted towards the car, the Umbra met them with barrages of spines, feathers, and beaks, a solid of mass of black death. They responded back in kind, figuratively and literally lighting it up with their weapons.

Scorching hot laser beams disintegrated the Umbra on contact, bolts tore and pierced through their bodies, orb-like missiles detonated and left smoking craters in their wake. Cinder and Coco cleared the hordes just a few meters around the Warden light, so close Weiss and the others needed to shield their eyes from the bright lights, cover their ears for the death cries and howls of the Umbra as they were annihilated.

_Thunk._

Something landed on the roof, everyone jumped. Pyrrha and Jaune put themselves before the others, Weiss and Velvet cowered and held each other. Neo stuck her head in and waved, before Mercury did the same.

“Did somebody order a rescue…?” he asked, his faceplate retracted and a smile on his face.

The civilians were soon suspended inside a magic bubble, suspended between the soldiers. _“All civilians secured, beginning evacuation!”_ Neo said through her speech device as she and the others began to lift off. _“Requesting additional fire support.”_

“Request granted, Neo, we’re on our way.” Cinder said, casually firing over her shoulder and incinerating a razorwing about to attack her. “Adel!”

“Heard it loud and clear, Sergeant!” Coco said, laughing as they blasted off to join the others.

Soon, Phoenix were jetting through the air, Coco and Cinder blasting huge swathes of them to ashes, Ruby, Neo, and Mercury taking care of stragglers. Elsewhere at a nearby city, LDF soldiers and ships were preparing to move out, the turrets on the defense walls blowing holes in the horde to make a path toward Phoenix.

“Let’s move, move, move!” one of the CO’s on the ground shouted. “We are NOT going to be the base that couldn’t save Weiss _fucking_ Schnee!”

Jets and soldiers in mass-produced Lumen suits flew out into the horde, guns blazing; shields crackled, metal finish and paint was scratched and marred, Umbra exploded and burned into ashes, but still the horde kept on coming.

“ _Damn it!”_ Mercury cried as he fired his two SMGs. “Why aren’t these fuckers quitting already?! Normally they aren’t _nearly_ this persistent”

_Thoom._

Cinder and Coco released a massive energy wave, destroying most of the Umbra around them.

“I think there is _definitely_ something about you civvies that the Umbra really, _really_ want!” Ruby said as she jammed a quick-charge cell into her weapon, its lights blazing back to full strength. “Any chance any of you have been experimenting with serious magitech, maybe even up to Umbra studies?”

“Urgh, are you _seriously_ suggesting that any of us would delve into such recklessly dangerous pursuits?!” Weiss snapped.

“Just saying, you were the only one being abducted back there, and they left your buddies completely alone!” Mercury said as the swarm began to converge around them again. “That’s _awfully_ suspicious.”

“ _There’s also the fact that you’re a rich heiress living with just a handful of close friends in a vast, largely self-sufficient mansion out in the middle of nowhere,”_ Coco chimed in. _“Can’t really blame someone for making less than flattering assumptions, I’d say.”_

Weiss could only scowl, as the Umbra renewed their attack.

The lead of the rescue jets saw, their operator transmitted the feed back to HQ. “This is Rescue Alpha, we have a visual on Phoenix, the VIP, and companions; Phoenix is currently engaged with Umbra, how do we proceed, over?”

“Rescue Alpha, get in there and get them out at all costs! Beta, Gamma, and Delta will support, over!”

“Roger, willco,” the operator said. “Relaying to all Rescue and Phoenix now, Alpha out.”

Rescue Alpha’s afterburners activated, brought online every weapon that wasn’t already up and firing. The other ships followed suit, before they blasted all blasted forward, clearing a path straight to Phoenix squad.

They arrived far too close for Weiss’ comfort, deafening booms exploding from each ship as it slowed down, their weapons and shields so bright she had to put her arms over her closed eyes.

“Our ride’s here!” Mercury sang.

In but a few minutes, Phoenix and the civilians were safely inside one of the jets, other soldiers and automated defenses handily fending off the Umbra still attacking or trying to get in. They were released from the bubble, Weiss bit her lip as she shakily brought her feet back on solid ground. She and the others sighed, smiling and laughing nervously.

“For the record, would someone please mind telling me _why_ the LDF had to save your lives…?” Cinder asked, black smoke lazily trailing out the side of her scowling lips.

Weiss opened her mouth to reply, before she started violently trembling, and collapsed. Pyrrha caught her before she could hit the floor, panic spread as they all noticed the black marks rapidly crawling and spreading through her skin, the tears in her clothes from where the razorwing’s talons had ripped through and wounded her.

“Well, _shit.”_ Mercury said.


End file.
